In Which Birthdays Go Unexpectedly Well
by Mint Pizza Queen
Summary: In which Naruto's birthday is overrun with randomness and Sasuke's to blame. Implied SasuNaru. ONESHOT. [COMPLETED]


**_A/N:_** _Happy Birthday, Naruto-kun!_ _I'm not going to do what I did on Sasuke's birthday (and wait till the very last minute...okay, I did for Naruto too. T.T) Random crack, SasuNaru implied, kinda takes place after the Birthday Indeed story of mine. And this did not go as I had planned. But that's okay. It still has crack. Lots of crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Mmm crack. CRACK._

**_Warnings:_** Shonen-ai implied_, crack, blah blah blah, you know the drill. Oh yeah, and **OOCness**. LOTS OF IT._

**_Disclaimer:_** _I don't own Naruto. If I did, that kiss would've been a hell of a lot longer and you would've seen a lot more kisses (and other unmentionables) throughout the series. Preferably, you know, in their sleeping bags. (Cough.)_

* * *

_You say it's your birthday  
__It's my birthday too--yeah  
__They say it's your birthday  
__We're gonna have a good time  
__I'm glad it's your birthday  
__Happy birthday to you._

* * *

**In Which Birthdays Go Unexpectedly Well  
**by _Mint Pizza Queen_

* * *

Naruto should've known something was up the moment that stupid squirrel took a nose-dive into his bowl of ramen with Lee close on his tail. It was an amazing feat, Naruto admitted, to land squarely in the bowl and not spill any broth. It was a spectacle to be remembered. 

Too bad his stomach argued that it needed food, but at this point, who would dare brave the bowl that was now contaminated with little squirrel and Lee hairs?

When Naruto saw the owner of the Ichiraku ramen stand bring out a giant wooden ladle, that was when he decided that maybe he wasn't entirely _that _hungry, and left the owner the task of cleaning up Mr. Squirrel and Mr. Lee's mess.

_So_ _off to Iruka-sensei's house we go._

Well, he _would've _gone to Iruka-sensei's house, had he not been swamped by a billion tiny shinobis shouting "Naruto-nii-san! Naruto-nii-san! Come play ninja! Ninja ninja ninja!" in helium induced high-pitched voices.

So back to square one: His sanctuary.

Naruto kicked a random ramen cup and watched it bounce off the wall with an empty echo. He could sneak over to Iruka's, but then again—

--today _was _October 10, and he was probably busy preparing for the festivities for the celebration of the Kyuubi's sealing.

_Le sigh._

Naruto was now, so it seems, officially bored.

Suddenly, as if Fate decided to be a little less evil that day, the doorbell rang.

The blond stalked across the room and peeped out the eyehole to see a head of pink. _Sakura-chan!_

He threw open the door to find, much to his surprise, not one—not two—but _many _brightly colored packages in her arms.

He blinked.

She blinked back. Then threw the boxes at him, dug out a noisemaker, and blew it loudly.

"Happy Birthday, Naruto!"

He staggered from the weight and crashed into his kitchen table. Regaining his disappearing composure, he grabbed the boxes from the floor and placed them on the table. "Wow, what are all these?"

"These are your presents, silly!" She entered and helped arranged the boxes around the heaps of empty ramen cups.

"Are you sure these are for me?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly, pointing a bright pink box.

Sakura brought out the tag and read. "To Fox Breath; From Kiba. Yup, I think so."

Naruto glared at the pink box. "Why pink? And why do you have Kiba's gift?"

The pink haired girl pushed the box to Naruto. "That's why I'm here. I'm delivering them. Kiba, Shino, and Hinata were sent on a mission early this morning and didn't want to disturb you. Well, Kiba did, but Iruka-sensei refused to let him into your apartment with the can of shaving cream, bag of feathers, and can of molasses."

Naruto made a face. "Figures he would've tried to do something like that."

Sakura smiled. "I also brought over mine. There are several boxes." She pointed to the large baby blue boxes.

The blonde's eyes twinkled. "Gee, thanks!"

The kunoichi smiled again. "So, Naruto, want to hang out or something?"

_Cuckoo—cuckoo---cuckoo----doing!_

The alarm clock went off in Naruto's brain. "Uh—well," he scratched the back of his head. _Yo, this is Sakura asking me to hang out on my birthday! Sakura asking ME! OH MY—EEK. WHAT DO I DO--!_

"Maybe later," The surprised look didn't escape from Naruto's sight but he didn't mention it. "I think I'll take inventory." He pointed to the boxes.

Sakura shrugged. "Okay then. Oh, and Iruka-sensei said he'll stop by later around suppertime to take you out for your usual birthday treat. He's busy with preparations as of now."

Naruto plucked at the bone and fire hydrant decorated bow on Kiba's gift. "Yeah, okay. Thanks, and see yah."

The pink-haired girl upped and left when he pulled off the bow and out popped a giant bowl filled to the brim with dog food.

"DAMN THAT KIBA!"

-----

After a few minutes of unwrapping and discovering Kiba's prank gifts of dog food and squirrel feed, Hinata's new weapons pouch, Shino's new sandals and weapon's polish, Sakura's several dozen packets of coupons to Ichiraku's and boxes of ramen, Naruto decided that this was a nice start to a birthday.

And so, why not go out to greet the world who doesn't give a damn about you and shake your ass in its face singing "Neener neener neener, I got friends who care for me and you just suck at life!"?

Naruto did just that, without the dancing of course.

He went straight back to Ichiraku's, after checking the premises for rabid helium inhaling ninja children and Lee's chasing after ramen thieving squirrels of course, to start his birthday off on the other foot.

And that's when it happened.

"Naruto-kun!"

"Konnichiwa!"

"NARUTO-NII-SAN!"

"TO THE RAMEN, MY FELLOW SQUIRREL!"

"SQUICKERS!"

The ramen stand owner then proceeded to bring out the same wooden ladle from before and swing it viciously at Lee and his squirrel companion, threatening a massive case of paddle pains on any and all expose body parts.

Lee then proceeded to perform the puppy eyes and scared away the man, who fled into the ramen shop.

Sakura placed her hands on the blonde's shoulders, giving him a grin. "Hey! I thought you were going to hang back and take inventory!"

"I did," he murmured cautiously, finally noticing the millions of eyes all watching his every move like hungry vultures. "And thank you very much for everything..."

"No problem! So do you want to hang out now?"

"No!" Naruto and Sakura looked over to Lee, who was posing proudly with his furry friend perched on his shoulder. "Naruto-kun will do the hanging out with us! We shall spread our flames of youth around the village in honor of your birth!"

"Uh, Lee—"

"We shall run a thousand laps, and leap into every bowl of ramen most hastily!"

Thank goodness for Inner Sakura.

"Lee!"

"My dear flower! You have spoken to me!"

"Naruto wants to say something!" Her burning eyes dampened and she looked back to the blond. "Well?"

Naruto eyed everyone, and remembered back to the cuckoo clock in his mind going off. "Okay, I'm happy that you all are hanging out with me and all—"

"Yessssss?" They leaned in expectantly.

Naruto broke the ice. "Who paid you to do this?"

Everyone keeled over.

The millions of little ninjas, which turned out to be just Konohamaru and his little gang with their friends, all piped up. "We got candy from Uncle Sasuke!"

His heart deflated. "Sasuke huh," he turned to Sakura. "Did he give you something too?"

Sakura dragged her shoe through the dust. "He asked to me to hang out with you today."

Lee suddenly jumped in with a salute. "Sasuke told us too!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "He told you to jump into my ramen?"

"Well," Lee scratched his chin, "No, but he was secretly thinking that he wanted to tell us!"

Naruto pushed away from the counter. "Uh huh...okay then. Well, I'll tell you what—thank you for being honest, but I've got important matters to attend to."

Sakura eyed the blond. "Where are you going?"

Naruto grinned. "To see Sasuke-teme."

-----

When Naruto arrived at the Uchiha estates, he wasn't exactly planning to see the backyard alive with people rushing around putting up banners and balloons or stacking gifts.

In fact, the mere sight of anyone besides Sasuke on the estate seemed...improbable.

"Oi, what are you doing here?"

Naruto whirled and came face to face with Sasuke. "What is that!"

"I asked you first."

Naruto's eye twitched. "So I hear you like to hire people to play friends for a day, is that it?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "No."

"So what the hell was today all about!"

"Hey hey, we're taking turns here," Sasuke poked the blond on the head. "You asked me two questions. You can only ask one. Pick one."

"SASUKE!"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes and leaned casually against a tree.

Naruto huffed. "That's better. What was the whole hire a friend deal today?"

"I didn't hire them as your friends."

"Oh?" Naruto quirked his eyes so one was wide open and the other narrowed dangerously. "Then what do you call it?"

"A diversion."

"A di—what?" Naruto's jaw dropped.

Sasuke sighed. "I asked them to keep you busy until we could get that," he gestured with a thumb to the party in the making. "Set up."

"...oh."

"Now, anything else before I have to go kick some asses for not keeping you occupied long enough?" Sasuke rose from his casual lean and was about to walk off when Naruto grabbed his arm.

"Yeah, is that really—" he waved a hand to the Uchiha's backyard. "All for me?"

Sasuke leveled a stare. "Well, it certainly isn't Kiba's birthday."

Naruto suddenly jumped up, startling the Uchiha. "That reminds me! That bastard put dog food inside his gift to me!"

The Uchiha narrowed his eyes. "Really?" He rubbed his chin as he glanced quickly into his backyard.

"Yeah! Oooh, I wish I could beat his face in for that!"

Sasuke then harrumphed. "Look at you, didn't even blow the candles out on your birthday cake and you're already making wishes. Tisk, tisk, tisk." He placed his hands on his hips and shook his head.

Naruto glanced at him. "Did you say birthday cake?"

-----

Although the morning started incredibly awkward and depressing, Naruto couldn't help but feel that today was actually one of the best birthdays he had ever had.

Seeing everyone's smiling faces, getting hugs and pats on the back, just feeling plain _loved _and _wanted, _that's what made the entire birthday celebration even better.

Although the surprise party Sasuke had planned didn't end up as a complete surprise as he had hoped, it still turned out terrific for the blond, who couldn't have asked for anything more—

--except maybe a longer stick, because really, that piñata that oddly resembled Kiba clad in his underwear looked like it really needed a good smacking.

**-End-**


End file.
